The hot topic between friends, family and myself the last few weeks has been about when do people outside of a relationship over step the line, and as a result its got me thinking how fine the line actually is!
I only know one couple where jealousy isn't a issue at all, but with everyone else i know, it seems to be a recurring problem. Every time me and my boyfriend have a scrap about ''other women'' he always throws the line at me ''YOUR JUST JEALOUS'' and every time it gets my blood boiling! It isn't the fact I am jealous, as to me jealousy defines being envious of someone else, wanting what they have etc. And this is defiantly not the case, I have what i want, why would i be jealous?! When issues are raised about people outside of the relationship, to me it is clear its down to a matter of respect, not jealousy. With all the ladies i have talked to about this matter we have all agreed there is a fine line that should never be crossed by anyone outside of the relationship. But the fine line varies from one person to the next, so how do you know if your over stepping it?
My fine line consists of pretty much one thing.. If another woman does things to rattle the relationship, I.e not thinking whether something they are saying or doing might upset me the girlfriend. This drives me up the wall, simply because it shows a complete lack of respect. Also my blokey is probably one of the friendliest people you could meet, so friendships are easily struck, but i also feel he doesn't hold his guard, so with him failing to put a stop to things that i think are going too far, in comes me, the dragon girlfriend to breathe a fiery flame over what he should be stopping. Other peoples fine lines can be drawn at ''you talk to my boyfriend, your heads in the chopper'' or ''you flirt with my man and your in trouble'' where as some others allow a free reign and don't worry about things like infidelity until it happens, IF it happens. I would so so so much love to be one of those people who just don't worry about anything until it happens. But I cant! I am too aware of the many people out there who are set on ruining relationships, or people who like some one couldn't care less if they are in a relationship already, and I am also too aware of how friendly my boyfriend is, although i trust him wholly, I don't trust certain women... and I am not going to wait for the day some one makes a move on my man only because he has been too slow to stop it before hand and read the warning signs.
When it comes to my friendships with men, I often end up in situations where their girlfriends cant stand the sight of me and want me gone as quick as possible. I can understand their concerns as i have been there too. If you don't look like you have been dragged out of a monkeys ass backwards, well then your a complete and utter threat, no matter how nice and chummy you try to be with the girlfriend.Everything you do, every move you make only makes them more and more angry towards you. In the past when i was naive and wasn't so aware of these things, I would carry on my friendships with these men being completely unaware of how their partners might have felt about it. I laugh allot, I'm friendly, I make obscene and completely inappropriate jokes about pretty much anything you can imagine, and I take care of my friends and am there for them whenever they need me, I turn to them when I am having problems in my little life and i take care of my appearance! Some people in the past have said i flirt too much, I was completely unaware of this as i am just a very friendly natured person. However I learned over time from certain explosive experiences with male friends girlfriends that there was a line i may or may have not been crossing...however I became aware of the line! So ever since, I respect my friends space when they are in relationships, I don't contact them much unless they contact me and basically take a big step back. Whether there is something to worry about or not, it doesn't really matter, we live in a world now where everyone is screwing everyone, and every single person you know has at some point either cheated or been cheated on. Its not completely ob surd to be worried that these things will happen with your partner. So naturally we all take what is being made to feel like the low road, only really all we are doing is protecting our selves from getting deeply deeply hurt. Is that so wrong? Why are women being made to feel like low jealous and crazy bitches when really all we are doing is not letting ourselves be completely trampled on by people who aren't aware of the respect they should have for you as a couple. Of course it would be wonderful if we could live ina world where men and women can be friends with no concerns whatsoever and there was nothing to worry about at all because everyone trusted and respected each other and things like cheating and inappropriate behaviour didn't happen... but we don't, so just deal with it, we are going to continue protecting our cosy bubbles we have spent time, love and effort creating, and if you don't like it, well, I'm sure there are many other respect less people you can hassle instead. I trust my female friends to the end of the earth, the ladies I am so lucky to be friends with, I know I could leave them alone with my man for weeks on end and nothing would happen. If I don't invite you kindly into my life that i share with my boyfriend, there will be a bloody good reason why, and that would be for you to think about... the same goes for all other women who are doing their best to keep their magical and loving relationships alive.
Where my vintage obsession began!
Im sat on my gorgeous fresh bed on this stunning spring eve. The light that fills this room makes everything look beautiful. The sky outside has gone from a deep orange to a crisp blue ready for the stars to be lit. Across me I see my wardrobe, all my clothes on display, and i suddenly realise i have the wardrobe of my dreams. There are all colors you can dream of, wonderful sixties print dresses and tops, high waisted floral mini skirts, high waisted jeans and sailor shorts, oriental wrap around dresses, silks and lace peaking through, 10940's and 50's tea dresses and not to forget my all time wonderful polka dot collection. Outfits inspired from the 20s right through to the nineties... fabulous!
I started to think back to where my obsession began for all this old retro and vintage fashion. I remember being little and feeling out of place with all the clothes everyone was into at school, and i wasn't that impressed with the styles i saw on tv and in magazines. My aunt used to visit us from Germany and she always wore these lovely 50s/60s tea dresses and little pumps with them, she looked so feminine yet casual, and with a tailoress for a mother i couldn't help but noticed the beauty in certain fabrics and how they would move when being worn, It wasn't long before i realised how all the materials of my time were just cheap and tacky. So every time i saw someone on the telly or a old picture, wearing fantastic old clothes from the 20s to the 70s i would instantly fall in love with these images. I began to dream of being able to own a dress or shoes like my auntie would wear. I was also bought up with parents who were greatly into old 60s 70s rock music like the stones and Hendrix, so i would become crazily absorbed with the fashions of those times as well as the music. more and more i compared the beauty of times long gone by in the fashion world compared to my present world, and they were so much more stunning. I was completely wrapped up in it, and didn't know how i could start gaining the look i so much wanted and loved. so slowly, piece by piece, from the age of 11 i would collect rare vintage items or great old finds in charity shops and hand me downs. Slowly i began to feel more like myself and who i really am... just a old soul in this new world.
I started to think back to where my obsession began for all this old retro and vintage fashion. I remember being little and feeling out of place with all the clothes everyone was into at school, and i wasn't that impressed with the styles i saw on tv and in magazines. My aunt used to visit us from Germany and she always wore these lovely 50s/60s tea dresses and little pumps with them, she looked so feminine yet casual, and with a tailoress for a mother i couldn't help but noticed the beauty in certain fabrics and how they would move when being worn, It wasn't long before i realised how all the materials of my time were just cheap and tacky. So every time i saw someone on the telly or a old picture, wearing fantastic old clothes from the 20s to the 70s i would instantly fall in love with these images. I began to dream of being able to own a dress or shoes like my auntie would wear. I was also bought up with parents who were greatly into old 60s 70s rock music like the stones and Hendrix, so i would become crazily absorbed with the fashions of those times as well as the music. more and more i compared the beauty of times long gone by in the fashion world compared to my present world, and they were so much more stunning. I was completely wrapped up in it, and didn't know how i could start gaining the look i so much wanted and loved. so slowly, piece by piece, from the age of 11 i would collect rare vintage items or great old finds in charity shops and hand me downs. Slowly i began to feel more like myself and who i really am... just a old soul in this new world.
A quick update on all things Marci.
So clearly summer is on its way, and spring is here in all its beautiful blooming glory. I decided to give my website a little revamp and have made it all springy and summery looking. With a real vintage/retro feel, lots of creamy yellows, blues and pinks to match... check it out www.marcisboutique.co.uk Lots of prices have been reduced so grab yourself a little bargain.
Im really on the look out now for lots of vintage and retro clothing to sell. Or even old 50s bed spreads to make some funky bags out of. For christmas my auntie in germany sent me some amazing old yellow print 50s fabric, wich i have now used in making myself a laptop bag/carrier. Its very funky, I'll post some pics up soon when i get a better internet connection. Another problem I've been having lately, My internet is just awfull at the moment, Iv been making lots of videos to stick on my youtube channel, mostly about vintage fashion and my website, and also some videos for the runaway girls channel... loads of videos all done and ready to be posted.. just no good internet connection to be able to upload. So bare with me, they will all be up and running soon!
bouncy bouncy...hop hop hop on to the next bed you go!
With my last bulletin I thought I would continue my rant about bed hopping madness in the UK. Now, I might not be the right person to be talking about such a thing as I am solidly a one man kinda gal and very committed to my blokey. But I seem to be in a complete fog as to why this is happening so much?!
In the past I found myself in many situations where a one night stand could of presented itself.. but i never went for it! For me its actually a massive turn off if a guy is only interested in getting into my pants, and with my experience I can now smell a mile off if this is the case! (I used to be a little naive!) I know the end result of any relationship is the sex.. But what I love is the leading up to it. Where you get to know each other, really discover each other as people and you build a emotional bond, and when you feel like this person is pretty dam special its then that the first time sex can be incredible! Like I experienced with my current boyfriend, It taught us both what sex is really all about, and it can be truly mind blowing. Why would anyone choose anything other than this?
I guess we all think differently, and no one wants or feels the same thing. I have friends who have one night stands, and they have a truly fantastic time. But they are very in dependant people, and for them a relationship just isn't on the cards or what they may be looking for, as their priorities lie in other places. So naturally they need to get their kicks somehow, but they have their heads screwed on, they know what they are doing, and they are being safe and sensible with it. But what I don't understand is the people who get themselves into situations just to brag about it, or they are too drunk to even know what they are doing. You know the kind I mean, the young ladies of today who can barely walk out of a pub, half bent over crawling up the walls and screaming random obscenities that make no sense, and usually with shoes falling off, make up smudged all over their faces and complete verbal diarrhea! So many weekend party girls are just out to get what they can. I have known a few in my time, and its not pretty! The guys they sleep with aren't even proud of who they spent the night with, it will just be a brag of a anonymous shag. Alot of women I have known who do this are really not happy about it...so why do it? Is it some kind of a attention thing? insecurities get the better of most of us, but why make it worse? isn't a compliment good enough? Do we really need to have a total stranger inside of us before we feel like we are good enough? And where is it all coming from?
With all the media focusing on what is supposedly beautiful, I feel like the pressure is really on! In every magazine you look and all the TV soaps etc all you see is women who look, well, a bit like sluts. And this is what is now considered beautiful! I have also over heard many conversations where men rant about how they think a woman should look when it comes to their private regions... I mean really, what the hell is it all coming to! So with all these pressures on us I wonder if women go out to basically get a fix of confidence. After all, if a guy thinks your good enough to sleep with, you must have all the right things in the right places and be putting yourself together pretty well! But does this really mean you are the total embodiment of true beauty if you are getting laid? In my opinion, I think not! If you can hold a mans attention for longer than just one night... well then, then you really have it going on! If you are really interested in a guy, I would never advice sleeping with them on a first date. Men and women are naturally built very differently... and if the offer is presented to a man, its not that easy for them to resist, and to find a man who does is truly a rare thing! Its just the way it is. If a man pesters you for sex on the first night.. they aren't really worth talking to for a second longer, because to be honest with you, after the night is over you wont be seeing him again! And if not having sex the first night is in any way a problem, you can seriously kick them to the curb! If a guy has manners and respect, then get to know them first. Guys tend to lose interest pretty much instantly after having sex with you when you have only just met them! I don't know what it is, or why it works like that, but that's just how it goes! I just want to shout STOP IT JUST STOP IT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING! To all these women who just cant stop themselves jumping from one guy to the next, because most of them ,when being honest about it, feel dirty and used!
Building confidence is key, and learning to truly respect yourself. Respecting yourself doesn't come in the form of knowing some one else thinks your hot, It can only come from you and knowing what you are worth.. and that's to be treated like your worth alot more than just something to use as a human wank machine for one night! Also, the other thing to seriously think about is the amount of diseases that go around. Its spreading like wild fire. One in five people have chlamydia in the UK under the age of 25... I think that is truly sickening, if it doesn't give you the heebyu jeebys...I really don't know what will! Its easy to say you have been tested... but i wouldn't just go on some ones word! We all need to take STD's a hell of a lot more seriously because it is a sick thing that will only make you feel disgusted if you find you have caught one through having sex with a stranger, and chlamydia is one of the lesser dangerous diseases going round, although left untreated it can make you infertile. There are some seriously awful std's that are growing quickly like chlamydia.. so watch out! Yes, trust me, I know condoms are really a bit rubbish, but the pill isn't going to protect you from getting very ill with a STD! Either stop sleeping around like your life depends on it, or for god sake put some thing on it! The amount of STD's going around are so extreme that there are even some you can catch from toilet seats, although this kind is rare, its still pretty serious how twisted this whole thing is getting, so wake up people!
In the past I found myself in many situations where a one night stand could of presented itself.. but i never went for it! For me its actually a massive turn off if a guy is only interested in getting into my pants, and with my experience I can now smell a mile off if this is the case! (I used to be a little naive!) I know the end result of any relationship is the sex.. But what I love is the leading up to it. Where you get to know each other, really discover each other as people and you build a emotional bond, and when you feel like this person is pretty dam special its then that the first time sex can be incredible! Like I experienced with my current boyfriend, It taught us both what sex is really all about, and it can be truly mind blowing. Why would anyone choose anything other than this?
I guess we all think differently, and no one wants or feels the same thing. I have friends who have one night stands, and they have a truly fantastic time. But they are very in dependant people, and for them a relationship just isn't on the cards or what they may be looking for, as their priorities lie in other places. So naturally they need to get their kicks somehow, but they have their heads screwed on, they know what they are doing, and they are being safe and sensible with it. But what I don't understand is the people who get themselves into situations just to brag about it, or they are too drunk to even know what they are doing. You know the kind I mean, the young ladies of today who can barely walk out of a pub, half bent over crawling up the walls and screaming random obscenities that make no sense, and usually with shoes falling off, make up smudged all over their faces and complete verbal diarrhea! So many weekend party girls are just out to get what they can. I have known a few in my time, and its not pretty! The guys they sleep with aren't even proud of who they spent the night with, it will just be a brag of a anonymous shag. Alot of women I have known who do this are really not happy about it...so why do it? Is it some kind of a attention thing? insecurities get the better of most of us, but why make it worse? isn't a compliment good enough? Do we really need to have a total stranger inside of us before we feel like we are good enough? And where is it all coming from?
With all the media focusing on what is supposedly beautiful, I feel like the pressure is really on! In every magazine you look and all the TV soaps etc all you see is women who look, well, a bit like sluts. And this is what is now considered beautiful! I have also over heard many conversations where men rant about how they think a woman should look when it comes to their private regions... I mean really, what the hell is it all coming to! So with all these pressures on us I wonder if women go out to basically get a fix of confidence. After all, if a guy thinks your good enough to sleep with, you must have all the right things in the right places and be putting yourself together pretty well! But does this really mean you are the total embodiment of true beauty if you are getting laid? In my opinion, I think not! If you can hold a mans attention for longer than just one night... well then, then you really have it going on! If you are really interested in a guy, I would never advice sleeping with them on a first date. Men and women are naturally built very differently... and if the offer is presented to a man, its not that easy for them to resist, and to find a man who does is truly a rare thing! Its just the way it is. If a man pesters you for sex on the first night.. they aren't really worth talking to for a second longer, because to be honest with you, after the night is over you wont be seeing him again! And if not having sex the first night is in any way a problem, you can seriously kick them to the curb! If a guy has manners and respect, then get to know them first. Guys tend to lose interest pretty much instantly after having sex with you when you have only just met them! I don't know what it is, or why it works like that, but that's just how it goes! I just want to shout STOP IT JUST STOP IT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING! To all these women who just cant stop themselves jumping from one guy to the next, because most of them ,when being honest about it, feel dirty and used!
Building confidence is key, and learning to truly respect yourself. Respecting yourself doesn't come in the form of knowing some one else thinks your hot, It can only come from you and knowing what you are worth.. and that's to be treated like your worth alot more than just something to use as a human wank machine for one night! Also, the other thing to seriously think about is the amount of diseases that go around. Its spreading like wild fire. One in five people have chlamydia in the UK under the age of 25... I think that is truly sickening, if it doesn't give you the heebyu jeebys...I really don't know what will! Its easy to say you have been tested... but i wouldn't just go on some ones word! We all need to take STD's a hell of a lot more seriously because it is a sick thing that will only make you feel disgusted if you find you have caught one through having sex with a stranger, and chlamydia is one of the lesser dangerous diseases going round, although left untreated it can make you infertile. There are some seriously awful std's that are growing quickly like chlamydia.. so watch out! Yes, trust me, I know condoms are really a bit rubbish, but the pill isn't going to protect you from getting very ill with a STD! Either stop sleeping around like your life depends on it, or for god sake put some thing on it! The amount of STD's going around are so extreme that there are even some you can catch from toilet seats, although this kind is rare, its still pretty serious how twisted this whole thing is getting, so wake up people!
Really? Is that it?
With this bulletin I know I speak on behalf of allot of women! Are we really just some kind of toy men are anxiously waiting to stick their end in?! I just had that really cringe worthy experience of a guy you know who NEVER talks to you say ''still with your bloke?'' I reply ''Yes, yes I am!'' he goes on to say ''oh, oh alright then, well bye!''.... WHAT THE HELL! Now I know this guy is a complete and utter man whore!So I think I know what he was after, especially as he is just on his way back to the UK. Hes not even vaguely attractive. Not that looks are everything.. But this guy doesn't even have one ounce of a personality to live up to! He literally has nothing that would make me even consider giving him the time of day when it comes to you know what! Not that I am like that anyway... but you get what I am saying. I may seem like I'm being harsh in my judgement, but I really am not! He's not even that much of a nice human being. And I honestly do not know how he manages it! He has lived in Spain for the last few years, so maybe there is just something in the water there that is blinding all the young ladies!
This has happened to me a few times in my life... and I just don't get it! Your respected as a woman as long as you are taken. A guy knows you are not readily available for a quick rump in the sack, so he moves on with no hesitation! But, if you are single, it is often assumed you will just do the deed! Where does this come from??!!
It seems England has one of the worst reputations globally for bed hopping. (weldone.. not that we need a medal or anything, maybe more a slap in the face!) But whatever happened to respect? A bit of wooing is never out of order... you know, lather us up a bit! Or maybe I'm just a old romantic who is seriously not getting with the times! I LOVE a bit of romance, being made to feel like a real woman, really getting your sexy on! There is just nothing better than feeling absolutely bloody fantastic! I just can't think of anything worse, when it comes to a bit of sexy sexy time, than being made to feel cheap , easy and like you will just open your legs at any given chance! But almost everyone in this country seems to be doing it! WHY??
Put it away ladies, start treating yourself with a little respect, and maybe then you wont feel the need to get absolutely wasted every weekend and waking up to a total stranger who you have no idea what you did with! It is nothing to be proud of at all! Also...please stop reproducing horrible miniature versions of yourselves!
This has happened to me a few times in my life... and I just don't get it! Your respected as a woman as long as you are taken. A guy knows you are not readily available for a quick rump in the sack, so he moves on with no hesitation! But, if you are single, it is often assumed you will just do the deed! Where does this come from??!!
It seems England has one of the worst reputations globally for bed hopping. (weldone.. not that we need a medal or anything, maybe more a slap in the face!) But whatever happened to respect? A bit of wooing is never out of order... you know, lather us up a bit! Or maybe I'm just a old romantic who is seriously not getting with the times! I LOVE a bit of romance, being made to feel like a real woman, really getting your sexy on! There is just nothing better than feeling absolutely bloody fantastic! I just can't think of anything worse, when it comes to a bit of sexy sexy time, than being made to feel cheap , easy and like you will just open your legs at any given chance! But almost everyone in this country seems to be doing it! WHY??
Put it away ladies, start treating yourself with a little respect, and maybe then you wont feel the need to get absolutely wasted every weekend and waking up to a total stranger who you have no idea what you did with! It is nothing to be proud of at all! Also...please stop reproducing horrible miniature versions of yourselves!
Its just been one of those days!
You know its going to be 'one of those days' when you wake up, open your eyes and the first thing you see is a letter with some bad financial news! Then, to top it, you know your going to be having some pretty heavy money problems for the following months with debts piling up! Its not good, especially when you can't really see much of a way out of it.
So what do you do with a day like today? The sun hasn't even shown its pretty face, so with the grey feeling of the day, comes the grey weather! My outlet used to be retail therapy... perhaps one of the reasons I am in such a tricky situation now! But when you have no pennies to rub together that goes out the window too, maybe go see some friends, but oh no, need to have some kind of bus or train fair for that! One by one the little pleasures of life start to disappear when you realise everything costs money! So I sit here and look around me, and start to realise and appreciate the things I do have. For one, my gorgeous little poppy pup, where would I be without her! I have allot of 'nice' things to keep me amused, maybe I should really be getting on with a bit more sewing, planning ahead with little projects and other such various things. Its like going back to basics, only luckily I still have electricity, hot water, and food i can scrounge off my mum and ransack my cupboards bare! Its like my boyfriend said ''the bad resolves itself, look forward to the good''. Ahh yes, a lovely boyfriend is another wonderful thing in my life. There is also never a day that goes by where he doesn't fail to make me laugh!
So really, I'm not going to let financial worries get on top of me! I will deal with them, and push them aside and focus on the wonderful things in my life! I also have a giant , and i mean GIANT, bar of chocolate that I think I am going to indulge in now!
So what do you do with a day like today? The sun hasn't even shown its pretty face, so with the grey feeling of the day, comes the grey weather! My outlet used to be retail therapy... perhaps one of the reasons I am in such a tricky situation now! But when you have no pennies to rub together that goes out the window too, maybe go see some friends, but oh no, need to have some kind of bus or train fair for that! One by one the little pleasures of life start to disappear when you realise everything costs money! So I sit here and look around me, and start to realise and appreciate the things I do have. For one, my gorgeous little poppy pup, where would I be without her! I have allot of 'nice' things to keep me amused, maybe I should really be getting on with a bit more sewing, planning ahead with little projects and other such various things. Its like going back to basics, only luckily I still have electricity, hot water, and food i can scrounge off my mum and ransack my cupboards bare! Its like my boyfriend said ''the bad resolves itself, look forward to the good''. Ahh yes, a lovely boyfriend is another wonderful thing in my life. There is also never a day that goes by where he doesn't fail to make me laugh!
So really, I'm not going to let financial worries get on top of me! I will deal with them, and push them aside and focus on the wonderful things in my life! I also have a giant , and i mean GIANT, bar of chocolate that I think I am going to indulge in now!
Women I admire
Drew Barrymore
Now, I have to admit, I'm not putting Drew in this list for her acting skills, although her performance in 'Grey Gardens' was incredibly admirable! I am 'adoring' Drew for her life skills!
When your growing up it isn't uncommon to find a celebrity you feel you can relate to. I didn't go out looking for it, for me personally I found my comfort was through music. But Drew Barrymore was one of the only people in the world of Hollywood stars, that I felt I could some what relate to. Her 'mistakes' were very much in the public eye. How she had gone from the cute little girl in E.T to a raving alcoholic with a slight liking for the odd substance abuse. She was always completely honest about who she is and what she may be going through, never hiding behind a glamorous L.A mask. She just was what she was. But what makes her so admirable is how she learnt life's valuable lessons along the way through any mistakes she may have made. She was always so aware of the problems life was throwing at her and she always did her best to learn and grow from them.
I remember a interview she did when she was a awkward teenager with Terry Wogan. You could see she was riddled with a life that hadn't treated her too kindly, and she seemed completely lost. Over the years, through her many film roles and through life itself, she slowly grew into who she really wanted to be. A big hearted, warm, generous, free, open minded, strong young woman!
I think she is a honest portrait of women in the modern world! A great role model for any troubled young people, proving you can turn your life around and achieve your goals and dreams.
The other thing I really admire about the lovely Drew...is presented in the picture I have attached with this bulletin. She was one of the first celebrities to do a magazine photo shoot with out a hint of make up and demanded for it to be completely untouched by photo shop. With the majority of Hollywood stars clearly feeling their talents and success lie within their beauty, she threw all of that on its head when she was brave enough to show her true self, and with it, absolute confidence without a hint of insecurity. I am a young woman who has grown up in the world of plastic beauty, and I speak for many young women when i say it is completely terrifying and can almost make you delusional about how you think you should look! With Drew doing such a inspiring photo shoot, it gave me so much hope that maybe,just maybe, things may begin to turn around, and we can all be beautiful by just being ourselves!
So yes, I admire Drew and find her truly inspiring and I feel she is a very important role model for young women in this day and age...Go Drew!
Dawn Porter...why? Because this woman is absolutely and utterly living MY dream! Plus to top it, shes bloomin fantastic! I have watched pretty much everything she has done on t.v, read pretty much every article she has written... and well, you get the general idea! I am a bit potty for dawn porter! She is another young woman who I think is a fantastic role model for the young ladies of today! She is funny, quirky, cute, feminine, smart, dippy and has her head well and truly screwed on!
She faces the facts of today and dives straight into issues of the modern world that we can all relate to! One of her first documentaries 'super slim me' was incredibly eye opening and inspiring. With Dawn being the gorgeous presenter she is, and how well she put together that documentary, it really makes you realise you don't have to be skeletal to be beautiful. And how clearly it is a huge battle amongst women, like a competition, rather than something we feel men like! Brilliant! Shes honest, ballsy and bloody spot on!
I cant wait for more TV delights from my all time favourite lady on the telly box!
Men I admire.
Professor Brian Cox! Yes this man truly opened my eyes and ears to the wonderful world that is space! Even if you are not into the universe and all that malarkey, I still strongly recommend you check out his latest series 'wonders of the solar system'.
He explains everything to do with space in such a way that is so easily understood! The images used in the series of documentaries and truly truly beautiful and it is filmed in such a way you may forget to blink!! This man is also wonderful to watch, when it comes to the male species... he is a bit of a wonder himself! Not only does he explain everything so well and have a brain that can squish in so much information and then spurt it out in a way even children can understand...the man never stops smiling, never! Wow!! Its not often I see smiley men, so that is a marvel in itself! Amazing!
Eddie Vedder... A man whose musical sounds I seem to never stop absorbing. Seriously, almost everything musically this man has done is complete pleasure to my ears! He stays so true to himself and his music and never changes to the expectations of record labels. So many bands that started in the late 80s/early 90s I literally cannot listen to anymore, its not so much that the music has become so commercial, its just that its sounds, well, shit! When bands start out they are so raw, expressive and honest with what style of music they are aiming to be, but the more money that comes in, the more record deals they get, the more they conform into what record companies tell them will sell! Eddie seems to have never done this! His sound is still completely his own, and through music he expresses himself and his journey through life so honestly! With a complete mixed bag of things he has tried, mostly not in the slightest bit mainstream, always a rebel, always a fighter, always honest and true to his feelings.. it comes through in his music so perfectly!
Christopher Mccandless. In the film 'into the wild' Emile Hirsch portrays Christopher Mccandless, in a performance so touching and unforgettable! It almost makes Emile himself one of the men I admire. But the real Christopher Mccandless is who is the real inspiration here! I am not going to go into the story...as it will take me as long as the film...JUST WATCH IT! You won't regret it, well at least you won't if you have any ounce of a dreamer in you! (Which I think most of us have, even if you do hide it behind a briefcase and tie!)
I do not pity this mans death! As I feel it is one of the most honest ways to die. To be so true to yourself, and to live by exactly how you feel, is really a very rare thing. How often do we do things because we have to? Every single day! Every pissing person does this every single morning. Like robots, we get up, put on our work clothes, shovel down breakfast like its some kind of oil to keep our tin from squeaking, and into the oblivion we go, one by one...like flies to shit! We think its good for us, and the right thing to do! But this is what actually scares me... the amount of people who have lived their entire life doing what they have to do, and only a small part of it doing what they 'want' to do!
Christopher Mccandless lived and died doing what he believed was the absolute way he had to be. He saw the world for what it is, and didn't create some suburban ideal with his imagination. He saw everything for exactly what it was, In all its sick twisted glory! So he went on to live a life that was primal, raw and free of societies chains! I could talk about him forever, but the film speaks out on so so many levels, things that go unsaid, but get you thinking and understanding to your deepest most truth full core of the kind of world we live in today!
There are allot of men in the world who are truly admirable! I just can't think of them right now as it is 1:00am and I have to be a robot and get up for work in the morning, so I am going to add more as I think of them! So bare with me :)
When did this happen?!
Since writing my last bulletin I have been thinking allot about my friends. When it suddenly hit me ... the majority of my friends are either married, buying houses or having/have children!
I'm 23, not exactly a age i ever thought I would reach and be thinking about settling down already. I couldn't be happier for the friends of mine who are getting rooted and taking those next steps in to their future with partners. It seems like a unreachable dream in this day and age to actually be able to find such happiness, so believe me, it puts a smile on my face every time I hear this sort of great news.
However, I have to admit... it has scared me a little at the same time. Suddenly it felt like my boat was being rocked, very heavily. I had so many memories come rushing through my mind, all the times I thought I was head over heels in love, only to be disappointed each time... 6 times to be exact. So, 6 failed rships before the age of 23 leaves a slightly nasty after taste and hasn't exactly given me much hope that I will ever get married, have a family let alone be able to ever afford a mortgage! And I question 'love' every time it rears its head now. So I wonder...how have all my friends managed it? and how is no one freaking out about it? I have been with my current boyfriend for the last 2 and a half years, but i have no interest whatsoever in getting married anytime soon, or even having to think about it properly! Sure, we have the odd conversation about how we would go about getting married, what we would expect from our married life etc, but I haven't ever SERIOUSLY thought about it! I also think I would be a terrible mother! Poppy (my dog) has replaced any maternal instincts i may have ever had and I am in no position to ever dream I would own my own house!
I am terrified of reaching my 50s and being a grumpy old bat with only my smelly dog for company! When i was growing up i used to fantasise about having a house full of kids, all the noise, hustle and bustle..I loved the idea of it! But now i don't think i could actually handle that at all!
So it turns out i am at a bit of a turning point in my life, where I am trying to figure out what my goals actually are and where i would ideally like to be in ten-twenty years time! Strangely.. I don't see a husband, house or kids running around! just a nice apartment with lots of dogs and maybe my choice of career, but no piles of cash! This is the reality i see, but i actually feel slightly guilty!
With so many people getting married, having kids and buying houses.. I feel like I'm doing something wrong if i don't do it too! I have even had the terrible (and slightly stupid) thought enter my head 'is there something wrong with me?'. Of course there isn't really, but i can't help but feel slightly out of place, and unfortunately a little scared and lonely!
After thinking it all through I have reached a level of comfort and feeling content in how i am living my life. I take each day as it comes, I wake up smiling every morning, I do what I would like to on most days of the week, I have a gorgeous doggy companion through each day that isn't any hassle at all, I have a load of opportunities ahead of me and different roads i can take, i have wonderful friends and family, and a really great relationship... Life really isn't so bad! So i have decided to completely defeat that funny feeling in my belly that i may be doing something wrong, by enjoying the great things i do have in my life and really appreciating them and at the same time giving a big warm genuine smile to all my friends who are happy and settling. Life is really bloody fantastic, whatever you may be doing!
I'm 23, not exactly a age i ever thought I would reach and be thinking about settling down already. I couldn't be happier for the friends of mine who are getting rooted and taking those next steps in to their future with partners. It seems like a unreachable dream in this day and age to actually be able to find such happiness, so believe me, it puts a smile on my face every time I hear this sort of great news.
However, I have to admit... it has scared me a little at the same time. Suddenly it felt like my boat was being rocked, very heavily. I had so many memories come rushing through my mind, all the times I thought I was head over heels in love, only to be disappointed each time... 6 times to be exact. So, 6 failed rships before the age of 23 leaves a slightly nasty after taste and hasn't exactly given me much hope that I will ever get married, have a family let alone be able to ever afford a mortgage! And I question 'love' every time it rears its head now. So I wonder...how have all my friends managed it? and how is no one freaking out about it? I have been with my current boyfriend for the last 2 and a half years, but i have no interest whatsoever in getting married anytime soon, or even having to think about it properly! Sure, we have the odd conversation about how we would go about getting married, what we would expect from our married life etc, but I haven't ever SERIOUSLY thought about it! I also think I would be a terrible mother! Poppy (my dog) has replaced any maternal instincts i may have ever had and I am in no position to ever dream I would own my own house!
I am terrified of reaching my 50s and being a grumpy old bat with only my smelly dog for company! When i was growing up i used to fantasise about having a house full of kids, all the noise, hustle and bustle..I loved the idea of it! But now i don't think i could actually handle that at all!
So it turns out i am at a bit of a turning point in my life, where I am trying to figure out what my goals actually are and where i would ideally like to be in ten-twenty years time! Strangely.. I don't see a husband, house or kids running around! just a nice apartment with lots of dogs and maybe my choice of career, but no piles of cash! This is the reality i see, but i actually feel slightly guilty!
With so many people getting married, having kids and buying houses.. I feel like I'm doing something wrong if i don't do it too! I have even had the terrible (and slightly stupid) thought enter my head 'is there something wrong with me?'. Of course there isn't really, but i can't help but feel slightly out of place, and unfortunately a little scared and lonely!
After thinking it all through I have reached a level of comfort and feeling content in how i am living my life. I take each day as it comes, I wake up smiling every morning, I do what I would like to on most days of the week, I have a gorgeous doggy companion through each day that isn't any hassle at all, I have a load of opportunities ahead of me and different roads i can take, i have wonderful friends and family, and a really great relationship... Life really isn't so bad! So i have decided to completely defeat that funny feeling in my belly that i may be doing something wrong, by enjoying the great things i do have in my life and really appreciating them and at the same time giving a big warm genuine smile to all my friends who are happy and settling. Life is really bloody fantastic, whatever you may be doing!
A true friend is the only relationship you can really count on!
It comes to my attention more and more that when you find yourself chin deep in a tricky situation, your friends are the most important people to have around!
My problem? well, since I have moved around endlessly, my friends seem to be scattered all around the country, sometimes all around the world! I'm currently living out in the sticks. In a tiny village surrounded by the countryside, which don't get me wrong, is beautiful and stunning. But the only ticket out of here is the A38 which runs pretty much right next to my house... and i don't have a driving license!!
So, since I had a pretty heavy Easter weekend all i want around me are my friends, but it almost feels impossible and I find myself cocooning into a self built overly cosy shell. GET ME OUT OF HERE!!
Why are friendships so much stronger than the majority of intimate relationships we have in our lives? And when the hell did it come about that we all have so much less time for each other than when we were younger?
When I was 14 and practically attached by the hip to my best friend Kerry, I never thought we would grow up to live miles apart for so many years, and on top hardly ever find the time to see each other. I never actually considered the fact that when you grow up the majority of people work full time... and that sense of freedom you have as a teen is thrown right out the window.
I hate having to arrange lunch dates or nights out weeks ahead, partly because my life changes so much from one day to the next, its hard to be completely reliable, and also I really miss that sense of spontaneity.
But at the end of a hard day, all I want are my close friends. I miss them all so much and wish I could pack them all up in a suitcase and have them live with me. But life just isn't like that. If you have lived in the same town for a very long time, your lucky to be able to see your friends all the time. But if like me you haven't yet found your home, or somewhere to bury your roots, the lack of close friendships being just a few streets away is some thing I deeply miss.
But for now, I am so great full for the incredible friends I do have, who are always just a email and phone call away. And to new friends I am making at this time of my life, who knows what the future holds and where we all end up!
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