Facebook Friends...

Its a grey sunday afternoon. After a long walk on the moors I'm having a nice chilled time, loungeing around on my bed, poppy snoozing next to me, lots of writing and the film Almost Famous playing in the background. On my little breaks between writing and other such things, I do what most of us do, have a quick nose on facebook. See if i have any oh so important messages to reply to or truly gripping statuses to catch up on!! Some how I ended up stumbleing across my 'friends list'. Stumbleing around on facebook seems to be the only thing you can really do on there! I realised, looking at my list of friends, most of them, I dont actually really talk to anymore. What amazes me more is the people who have over 400 friends on facebook. Come on now! Either you have alot of friends who are reeeaallly not your friends, or you need the kick of attention and feel poplular adding anyone who may have any sort of connection to you what so ever. Absalout bullshit if you ask me! I used to have over 300 friends on there and deleted the majority in the end when i realised I WAS one of those silly people who added and accepted any person i may have ever uttered any words to.
Today when I had a browse through my so called list of friends, I realised, once again, that alot of the people on there aren't actually my real friends! So i decided to scroll through them and do some recycling, as i now like to call it. When suddenly I was hit with the most rediculous emotion! Yes, I said EMOTION! I realise this seems stupid, to have any sort of emotion over some thing as pathetic, insignificant and totally unrealistic as FACEBOOK. But i was hit with a sence of guilt and awkwardness as I waved the mouse over the delete button for particular people. There were even a few I still couldnt bring my self to delete from my fookin facebook world! JESUS CHRIST! Why did this happen?! There are some I simply dont want to get rid of because they are my actual friends, If i only had these people on there I would probably only have about 25 friends on facebook. But then there are the friends I havent seen in years, but they still matter to me, and the times inbetween when we do email and catch up are times I don't really want to get rid of, as even though I may not have full contact with these people anymore, they still mean some thing to me and I am still interested In hearing how they are getting on and of course always have the hopes that if we are visiting each others area where we live that we can find the time to actually see eachother and catch up in REAL LIFE! Then there are the people, who arent ACTUAL real friends, but people you used to hang around with or see around alot and some how sort of picked up along the way in my litte life. Again, these people interest me, we have things in common and I dont really fancy getting rid of them as they are good for the whole ''cyber banter'' scene! (if that makes any sence at all!). Blimey, this whole thing gets more complicated and confusing than its worth! Right, then there are the people, who you still possibly see around but dont actually go out of your way to spend any time with. In the past you may have worked together or hung around in the same crowd, but you dont really have anything to do with eachother, yet you comment on eachothers statuses endlessly and it all pretty much ends there. THESE are the people I cannot for the life of me, bring myself to delete, and I actually have no idea why! When I really think about it, I realise its because of fear of running into them and having that awkward moment of being polite to eachother but having that underlieing feeling of, me from my end ''shite I deleted this person from facebook, have they realised!!!'' or them ''what a bitch, she deleted me from facebook and now shes talking to me''. Why do these two worlds have to meet and combine?! I have decided all i really want from facebook is a place to comunicate with my real friends, family, work buddies, people I do projects with and anyone who has anything to do with my business and visa versa. But If I keep people out of fear of running into them, then I am going completely against what I want from the whole facebook experience.
It shouldnt really matter to me, and I could just think ''fuck it! its only the internet, just add whoever and accept whoever on there!''. But at the end of the day, it does matter to me! I love going on there and hearing how my friends are doing, but after a while it does piss me off to scroll through the bullshit and amongst it try to fish out the ones who I actually want to read about. I dont really have any interest in hearing how some person I hardly know and have no interest in kids are doing or why their screaming baby is doing their head in, or how their night of being rat arsed and vomitting in their shoes was the best night they have had all year etc! I just want to know about the people that matter to me on different levels.
It all gets so rediculously complicated some times that it would just be easier to get rid of it alltogether. I did that last year, and it was so nice to just have my phone for contacts that really mattered. My boyfriend got rid of it for how stupid and pointless it all was and he hasnt missed it at all. I also really love it when I hear people dont have facebook, I always think ''wow, you live in the REAL world! where REAL people and REAL things matter to you!''. But for now, I am still enjoying catching up with old friends, keeping intouch with current friends and getting to know new friends on there. So, head up high, deep breath and DELETE the ones I dont really need on there!
Anyone else have this problem? Just me? Fabulous!