The Ages of Our Lives!

I have always been facinated with the ages we reach and what we are supposed to have achieved in that time!
So, before you turn 16 your pretty much left in peace and get to just be a kid, all though a scary thought is being a kid in this day and age means having a child of your own..eek! When your 18 your supposed to be in some sort of college education, or taking time out to travel and explore the world. When you reach your early twenties its uni and thinking about a possible career. When your in your mid to late twenties, for alot of people, its time to start thinking about settleing down a little...at this age your supposed to have your chosen career possibly taking off the ground, marriage and kids. OHMYGOD!! This all terrifies me. After all I am only 23 soon to be 24. But I left school early, certainly didnt go to college or uni, I dont even want to think about marriage and having kids would be my worst nightmare at this moment in time! I moved back home with my mum when money became too tight and i couldnt afford to live on my own anymore, I work part time, I have my own little business wich is by no means some thing for me to survive off, I have a boyfriend of three years and the only responsibilty in my life is my dog and my health!
Neaerly everyone I know is married, house hunting or own a house, have kids or a career. Naturally I cant help but feel like I am doing some thing completely wrong. I almost feel guilty that I am not living on my own, that I dont want to get married, that I have no interest in having children (although I seem to treat animals, such as poppy, as my children!!!) and I just cant seem to really figure out where my life is heading! This is clearly plagueing me as i have blogged about it before. I want to go on holidays but with my health I have had to make myself become not interested in travelling, well, not on my own at least! Of course I would love to have my own place to live again, but financially its just not a possibilty at the moment. Of course I could make it a possibilty by working a 9-5 job and getting the money in, but i honestly cant bare the thought of being trapped in the same place of work day in day out like I did in the past. It sounds a little ignorant, but it actually drives me mad! When my dad fell seriously ill a few years ago it hit me like a ton of bricks life is too short to waste, and i certainly dont want to feel like i have wasted my life doing some thing I dont enjoy the majority of the time. So i made changes. Having p.o.t.s has also forced me to be unable to work full time for some one else, but its also forced me to do what I really want to do and not what I feel I have to do. But with that, of course, comes a unique life style, not one that many people my age have! At times I think I feel guilty simply because my choice of life is 'different' and not full of one acheivement after the other, like a house, marriage, kids etc. But more small achievments that make me happy inside myself. Although, If I am completely honest...I would like to have my own house because I would love to have a place to call home for once in my life. But untill that happens my life seems to be on a different path to most others.
At the end of the day...its a total head mess! I look at all my friends acheivements and think ''wow! look at them go!'' but at the same time, I dont actually want these things myself as I clearly pointed out above....so why feel guilty about it?! I guess the only thing is that I am worried I will regret some thing one day that I missed out on! But then its never too late...My auntie got married last year and she is in her 60s..FANTASTIC! A house doesnt go with your heart when you die, so its not the most important thing in life! Having kids could change at any time, afterall I am very young and its not some thing for me to think about now. Who knows what will happen...But I would like to live on my own again, that is some thing I DO know! So maybe that can be a goal for me to work towards, infact YES that is going to be my goal to work towards!
Aaah, rant over! Life figured out (not quite), feel much better. fanbloggingtastic :)